I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
