Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I just found a bag of teeth...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
