Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
