There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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