I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
that may or may not have been my penis.
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