Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize