I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
