dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
