i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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