Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
My balls are so social today.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
