We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
