i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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