I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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