Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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