Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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