Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
