youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
