how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
