u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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