throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
