this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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