it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
