How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
