I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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