Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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