i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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