we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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