I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
