it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
