cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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