it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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