We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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