Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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