Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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