i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
