Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
