Please, let me fuck your mom
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
