just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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