Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
The uberlube is also flammable
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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