Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
