If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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