totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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