I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
