the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Drake has all the answers
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
