9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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