so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
