My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
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