we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
