I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize