Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
