Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize