best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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