hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
