i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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