There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
