We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
