i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
