we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
