So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
