So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
