I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
