he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
